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Blow Job gone wrong 15/9/2021
As we are laying in bed. Me sucking his
cock him slamming the dildo into my pussy. We been at it for
20 plus minutes. I had already came 2 times. He wanted 3.
I raised my hips I was getting close he said ya suck it I
going to cum. I wrapped my lips around the head and went into
suction mode. He was pumping at my mouth when he jerked away
and Shot Cum straight ...
1 Comentários, 29 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,2.40 Pontuação
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Lunch would be ready...... 26/6/2021
A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is
working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"
Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds
and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse,
sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation,
erections, wet-dreams...and he thinks, what the hell,
and goes on to tell her the works. He covers a ...
2 Comentários, 247 Visualizações,
21 Votos
,6.84 Pontuação
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vibrator 26/6/2021
we were having
a party one night with a group of friends. we kept hearing
this weird humming sound coming from my room. we went
to go investigate and to my horror one of our friends
apparently went into our room into my nightstand and got
out one of my vibrators. they were all sitting around on
the floor with it turned on watching it vibrate across the ...
3 Comentários, 277 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,2.57 Pontuação
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"the bf's " 24/6/2021
My boyfriend and I live together. He has an eleven year old
that doesnt. Sounds simple enough heh? Well it's
not!!!! One of the weekends he had her, we were in our bedroom,
thinking she was asleep and began to fool around...with
the door closed of course. And just so you know how uncomfortable
the situation was ..we were practicing oral sex...i had
performed my half and was allowing him ...
2 Comentários, 705 Visualizações,
20 Votos
,1.08 Pontuação
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My Date From Hell! 24/6/2021
Written by: KyCre8iveGuy
NOW THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ, MAY SEEM TOTALLY WEIRD
AND COMPLETELY CRAZY…BUT HAND OVER MY HEART…IT’S
THE COMPLETE TRUTH!!
I met a young lady on a Transgendered website. She was 35-years-old,
had long blonde, beautiful hair and the face and body of
a Goddess. We chatted for a while on the website and through
personal emails. Eventually, we ...
6 Comentários, 297 Visualizações,
39 Votos
,4.62 Pontuação
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A Cold Nose 23/6/2021
Max was my dachshund, I spoiled that dog. I let him sleep
on the bed he used to like to cuddle up.
<br>
I started dating a new guy, Max was a little suspicious of
my new beau, but was reasonably friendly.
<br>
The first time we had sex at my place we were in my bed. Max
was asleep in the frontroom in his basket by the TV.
The sex was hot and focused and at one point he ...
1 Comentários, 805 Visualizações,
36 Votos
,5.48 Pontuação
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The nite our found our handcuffs...lol 23/6/2021
The and I had gone to my moms for a couple of weeks in the
summer for a mini vaction...well when we got back my hubby
missed me so much he decided tonite he was gonna handcuff
me to the bed and make up for the last 2weeks...In the morning
we all got up...my hubby and I were getting ready for work
when my oldest (8 at the time) came in the bathroom
and said "mommy, why are there handcuffs ...
1 Comentários, 910 Visualizações,
28 Votos
,4.68 Pontuação
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4 sons 23/6/2021
A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that
the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall,
while the youngest had black hair, dark eyes, and was
short.
The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed
when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before
I die, be totally honest with me - is our youngest my ?"
The wife replied, "I swear on ...
2 Comentários, 202 Visualizações,
2 Votos
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Time to rock out with your cock out! 18/6/2021
Last night, I was actually having sex. Now, what made this
a memorable experience, besides me having sex, is that
AC/DC's "TNT" was playing. And for the
first time in my life, I had rhythm. That whole, "women
to the left of me/women to the right" thing got my dick
harder than it's ever been.
So afterwards, while lying in bed, basking in the afterglow
and listening to woman lie to me ...
2 Comentários, 230 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,2.16 Pontuação
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arousal 18/6/2021
Many people may suppose that the question of the title is
a stupid one, given that the answer is so obvious: women
have breasts for feeding babies. In fact, the question
is a good one, because it is a mystery why the vast majority
of women has breasts. Most women are, at this moment, not
lactating, and yet they have breasts. If breasts were merely
for feeding babies, then ...
1 Comentários, 227 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,1.96 Pontuação
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Top Ten Warning Signs that the Profile is a Fake 4/12/2020
One of my "kinks" these days is weeding out the
various fake profiles that pop up in Des celibataires pleins de ressources now and then. So,
from the home office in Ypsilanti, Michigan, here are the
Top Ten Warning Signs that the Profile is a Fake <br><br>
10. The writer spels and speaks english goodly . 9. Uses a photo of a woman who should be a model 8. Uses a photo of a woman who actually IS a model ...
2 Comentários, 46 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,1.47 Pontuação
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Anal 14/8/2020
Care share an anal experiences that have gone bad?
0 Comentários, 23 Visualizações,
0 Votos
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?? Why is ?? 30/1/2020
If we have 3somes all the times but I can’t at females!?!!
Lol
1 Comentários, 8 Visualizações,
0 Votos
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The Sound of Incognito 28/1/2020
Hello incognito, my old friend I've come to do bad things again Stealth mode on while I'm creeping Releasing seeds if you catch my meaning And the visions that are planted in brain Still remain but not in web browser after I close out and delete all history
just in case <br><br>
In office I wasn't alone Nearly caught me on phone 'Neath desk fingers cramp And I think ...
2 Comentários, 16 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,2.47 Pontuação
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It's all about the points.... 26/1/2020
It's all about the ....It's all about the
....It's all about the ....It's
all about the ....It's all about the ....It's
all about the ....
2 Comentários, 18 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,3.30 Pontuação
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How well do you know each other :) 21/1/2020
: Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of the world a man
doesn’t know his wife he marries her. <br><br>
Father: , that’s true everywhere.
5 Comentários, 40 Visualizações,
18 Votos
,2.99 Pontuação
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In the family way 12/1/2020
This is the story of a young lawyer who always spent his summer
vacation at the same place by the sea. He always went to the
same boarding house because the of the hotel looked
good enough to eat. Naturally, as the lawyer was handsome and with the summer
heat helping, the two young people quickly went from feelings
to actions. The next year, the lawyer found his sweetheart, and was
surprised to ...
4 Comentários, 125 Visualizações,
55 Votos
,3.28 Pontuação
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Dinner is Served 8/1/2020
I had an odd (?) thought today, while masturbating. At least,
I think it may have been odd? I’m not sure. Here, I’ll
just tell you and you can make up your own mind. Cool? Let’s
proceed… Sex is kind of like a candle. When you first ignite the spark,
it’s hot and heavy. I mean, that shit is on! I’m thinking
most of us understand and have experienced aforementioned
hotness, so there’s ...
9 Comentários, 132 Visualizações,
30 Votos
,4.42 Pontuação
|
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points 5/1/2020
4 the points
1 Comentários, 9 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,2.47 Pontuação
|
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i am not funnin in a relationship 3/1/2020
Just need to get some Points so I am adding something here.
1 Comentários, 14 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,3.00 Pontuação
|
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Funny 3/1/2020
Funny more points
0 Comentários, 12 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,3.37 Pontuação
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Your Seat Can Also Be Used as a Flotation Device 1/1/2020
I was in my mid forties, contently married for 14 years and KNEW life was perfect! <br><br>
ME: Life is perfect! <br><br>
LIFE: Wanna bet? <br><br>
Details are not important... Him~ my sister~Our couch
in our house~Fucking~Done and divorced. <br><br>
What the fuck was I supposed to do now? OH, right! Date! <br><br>
I knew there was no ...
3 Comentários, 115 Visualizações,
20 Votos
,4.53 Pontuação
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Cortitos 23/12/2019
- ¿Cuáles las mujeres que mejor conocen su cuerpo?
- Las que se masturban, porque lo conocen "al dedillo".
Se levanta una polla por la mañana, con los ojos todos pegados,
se pega una ducha, abre el armario y dice: -¿Y que cojones
me pongo yo hoy?
¿Qué le dijo el posavasos a la cerveza? -¡Rubia que frío
tenés el culo!
¿Qué le dijo ...
4 Comentários, 37 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,3.65 Pontuação
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Ahh youth 22/12/2019
So I like cumming on a womans tits or even her and of course
Im more in tune with the idea when the partner in question
wants it. Oh but what about a time when you lacked experience
and aim...Like hitting a womam right in the eye they they
are even near your . IE a shot arced back enough
land in her eye when we were laying side by side after lol
ahh youth
3 Comentários, 41 Visualizações,
19 Votos
,4.05 Pontuação
|
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Blowjob hickies 15/12/2019
I'm very partial receiving oral. Sometimes some
people get a little carried away and when I get home I notice
the head of dick is all bloodshot. I was telling friend
about this problem and he started calling them dickies.
Does anyone else run into this and what do you call it?
3 Comentários, 43 Visualizações,
27 Votos
,3.77 Pontuação
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bi 29/11/2019
to bi or not to bi , bye
2 Comentários, 28 Visualizações,
19 Votos
,1.67 Pontuação
|
|
I love white woman 20/10/2019
I prefer white woman, I love my black woman but I also love
white woman because they are more freakier.
8 Comentários, 83 Visualizações,
50 Votos
,2.62 Pontuação
|
|
Funny 10/10/2019
If its easy take it twice
3 Comentários, 68 Visualizações,
55 Votos
,1.86 Pontuação
|
|
Living by the three F's. 29/9/2019
If it floats, flys or fucks. Rent it don't buy it. Anyone
else live by this?
4 Comentários, 55 Visualizações,
45 Votos
,2.36 Pontuação
|
|
Try to have fun 23/9/2019
Keep your woman happy n always eat her pussy before you fuck
her
6 Comentários, 92 Visualizações,
61 Votos
,3.94 Pontuação
|
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Free bonus 18/9/2019
I remember Des celibataires pleins de ressources use to give u credits or 40 day gold or something
6 Comentários, 73 Visualizações,
55 Votos
,2.73 Pontuação
|
|
Anal sex 18/9/2019
Is it just me or is anyone else worried about being s#$T on
6 Comentários, 45 Visualizações,
25 Votos
,2.25 Pontuação
|
|
points 15/9/2019
points
1 Comentários, 4 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,3.81 Pontuação
|
|
fun is good 28/8/2019
Nigel and Stephen, are keen fishermen and wine drinkers;
here you can see a photo taken while they are enjoying some
night fishing while on holiday, with their wives, in Poitou-Charente,
France, last year. <br><br>
Slurping a large Bordeaux Supérieur, Nigel announces,
'I think I'm going to divorce my wife, she hasn't
spoken to me in eighteen months.' ...
4 Comentários, 98 Visualizações,
57 Votos
,2.56 Pontuação
|
|
Blind Date 24/8/2019
I had a blind date once. A friend of mine asked take
his g/f's sister. I agreed. So I went her place
get her. When she opened the door she was 5ft tall and weighed
about 350lbs. I thought okay. So we went a nice restaurant.
After sitting down she looked at the menu intently. I thought
okay. Then she said can I pick what I want. I said sure. She
ordered 3 complete meals. The waiter ...
6 Comentários, 123 Visualizações,
54 Votos
,3.35 Pontuação
|
|
Sense of humor 17/8/2019
relationships where both individuals don’t have a good
sense of humor never seem work. Understand you have
take you relationship serious but making each other laugh
and smile helps build and sustain a good relationship.
4 Comentários, 43 Visualizações,
26 Votos
,3.35 Pontuação
|
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booty 7/8/2019
o booty how I chase thee I only did this for my points yee I don't want to trespass I just want to fuck that ass good people i love you with that said throu
1 Comentários, 30 Visualizações,
25 Votos
,2.47 Pontuação
|
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Peter at the gate. 21/6/2019
comes to gates of Heaven telling Peter about her
husband and their yard, Peter tells her you didn't
need a man , you needed a bull , you are a milking cow.
3 Comentários, 67 Visualizações,
35 Votos
,2.01 Pontuação
|
|
Loosen up 10/6/2019
Getting ready for a meet...loosen up. Remember your here
for fun. Although keeping our nerves in check is not easy.
So lighten up and have the most fun imaginable.
14 Comentários, 138 Visualizações,
86 Votos
,5.03 Pontuação
|
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I like 29/5/2019
I like to do it in public places, but of morbid people ho
like to look, to me as you can see in my photos, I love it...
7 Comentários, 74 Visualizações,
22 Votos
,1.57 Pontuação
|
|
Panty hose 16/5/2019
So I ducked this woman I met. See told me discrete, and she
really wanted it bad. Great i hit it hard, and fast, done
in record time. Then she tell me she was a virgin. I say, if
I knew you were a virgin, I would have taken my time with you.
She says, if I knew you were going to take your time, I would
have taken my panty hose off.
1 Comentários, 56 Visualizações,
36 Votos
,2.89 Pontuação
|
|
anyone ever... 4/5/2019
slap a girls ass while your 69ing and then get the weird feeling
like a you just disturbed a bunch of poop particles that
are now falling down onto your face...probably not but
I swear i've felt dusting before and it really pulls
you out of the moment and makes you hesitant to slap that
ass again...
5 Comentários, 59 Visualizações,
42 Votos
,0.93 Pontuação
|
|
points 27/4/2019
points points points points points
1 Comentários, 16 Visualizações,
10 Votos
,1.99 Pontuação
|
|
Said "No Thank You" 8/4/2019
One night, drinking at my friends, I decided to invite a
girl friend over to partake. As the night went on, and her
drooling over me, things started to die down and get quiet.
Just as the room got silent, my girl friend leaned over and
yelled "LET'S FUCK". Me being shy, politely
said "No thank you". The next week, the same
girl friend called me up and asked me if I would ...
5 Comentários, 121 Visualizações,
49 Votos
,3.57 Pontuação
|
|
What's the funniest thing that's happened to you during sex? 7/4/2019
I once broke the bed right before climax.. went right through
it!
3 Comentários, 70 Visualizações,
38 Votos
,3.24 Pontuação
|
|
Mirar mis fotoss 18/3/2019
Teneis mi permiso para copiar y exhibir mis imagenes donde
querais, me da mucho morbo que me puedan ver...
5 Comentários, 28 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,3.81 Pontuação
|
|
jijijijjii ii iii ii i 18/2/2019
como veis en mis fotos y gifs, me encanta el sexo al aire
libre y me expongo desnudo con publico, espero os den morbo...
9 Comentários, 38 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,1.96 Pontuação
|
|
Points 17/2/2019
Just here for the points
12 Comentários, 88 Visualizações,
57 Votos
,4.96 Pontuação
|
|
discreet? 5/2/2019
funny when you meet someone, they say discreet, and then
get naked? mmmmmm
1 Comentários, 32 Visualizações,
23 Votos
,2.31 Pontuação
|
|
mothers 9/1/2019
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem
in his house. His three were outside, still in
their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes
and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. <br><br>
The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door
to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even
bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and ...
6 Comentários, 130 Visualizações,
49 Votos
,3.43 Pontuação
|
|
mothers 9/1/2019
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem
in his house. His three were outside, still in
their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes
and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. <br><br>
The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door
to the house. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even
bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and ...
5 Comentários, 78 Visualizações,
37 Votos
,2.81 Pontuação
|
|
meet you in heaven 9/1/2019
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates
of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet
her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet
table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other
people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw
her and began calling greetings to her — “Hello”
“How are you! We’ve been waiting for ...
4 Comentários, 83 Visualizações,
31 Votos
,3.53 Pontuação
|
|
meet you in heaven 9/1/2019
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the Gates
of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet
her, she peeked through the Gates. She saw a beautiful banquet
table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other
people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw
her and began calling greetings to her — “Hello”
“How are you! We’ve been waiting for ...
1 Comentários, 45 Visualizações,
23 Votos
,3.60 Pontuação
|
|
sex 6/1/2019
https://www.healthywomen.org/content/article/understanding-your-sex-drive-when-one-you-wants-it-more?context=healthcenter/60&context_title=60&context_description=
1 Comentários, 31 Visualizações,
20 Votos
,0.70 Pontuação
|
|
this story to make you laugh 29/12/2018
a lady goes to a restaurant , the waiter comes , and says ,
can I offer you a beer , she says no no. some wine ? no no , Whisky
?? no no. The waiter says , why ? does it make your legs tremble
? she says , they make me open them
1 Comentários, 13 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,3.80 Pontuação
|
|
In a perfect world 27/11/2018
Orgies!
3 Comentários, 45 Visualizações,
34 Votos
,2.07 Pontuação
|
|
the funniest thing you ever had happen while playing with a partner 21/11/2018
I would be interested in hearing from others as to the funniest
thing that has ever happened ..... in the moment..
6 Comentários, 82 Visualizações,
36 Votos
,3.76 Pontuação
|
|
wtf 5/10/2018
for fun or not
4 Comentários, 60 Visualizações,
44 Votos
,3.46 Pontuação
|
|
Joke about each other 25/8/2018
I like to joke about each other and call each other names
but be very respectful and also know your limit
3 Comentários, 27 Visualizações,
16 Votos
,4.16 Pontuação
|
|
Cumfum 2/8/2018
I have a sex with my cousing (she)
my first lesbian activity and I drop my pee over her that's
was funny because she was angry a little bit.
2 Comentários, 11 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,2.49 Pontuação
|
|
WOW won't believe this. 12/7/2018
Well I was married to a redheaded German, Irish, Indian
gal for over ten years. If I could write a book about those
years not sure how to put the book on the stands. Fact, fiction,
or your not going to believe this shit. The sex life I really
miss but if your old enough to remember the 16 ounce Pepsi
glass bottles that came in 8 packs I think she could hit a
fly off a fence post at about 50 yards ...
3 Comentários, 107 Visualizações,
58 Votos
,3.04 Pontuação
|
|
Relationship Clichés: What They Really Mean 5/7/2018
 Regardless of who you date, no matter how long the relationship
lasts; chances are you’ll hear some (if not all) of these
favorites. Here’s what they really mean. <br><br>
“Sometimes the person you want the most is the person
you are best without.” I like you but we DO NOT get along. <br><br>
“Everything is going to be OK. Maybe not now or ...
13 Comentários, 196 Visualizações,
96 Votos
,5.15 Pontuação
|
|
Confesando 2/7/2018
Una chica de pueblo en el confesionario, le dice al párroco
que su novio le habia pedido que le hiciera una paja. Entonces
el párroco le dijo que tenia que rezar diez Ave Marias y
diez Padres Nuestros, pero sobre todo al salir, debía
lavarse bien las manos con agua bendita. Lavandose está las manos cuando entra su amiga y le pregunta
que hace, ella le cuenta la confesion, y entonces su amiga ...
2 Comentários, 14 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,4.02 Pontuação
|
|
I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man looking for a real friend if u like call 4/5/2018
I am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man
looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I
am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man
looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I
am 52 years Bengali from kolkata do job a very simple man
looking for a real friend if u like call me 9734 eight 52353I
am 52 years Bengali from kolkata ...
0 Comentários, 51 Visualizações,
41 Votos
,1.28 Pontuação
|
|
Finishing First 2/5/2018
Who thinks that laughing should be part of sex? If you finish
first, why not clap your hands, cheer and say first  !
There is always room and time for a second round!
8 Comentários, 64 Visualizações,
38 Votos
,3.65 Pontuação
|
|
seriously ,that is considered bisexual ? I am wondering. 18/4/2018
Bisexual seems like a simple term that is easy to understand.
But , is it really that simple to declare some a bisexual?
Does having participated in a 3 way with another of the same
sex make some a bisexual? Does intimate contact with the
same sex define the sexuality , or is it the intent of the parties involved. I get a lot of men that want to give
oral sex, but If I accept , am I now a ...
8 Comentários, 126 Visualizações,
43 Votos
,4.22 Pontuação
|
|
Chewing (Dick) Gum 11/4/2018
I was very young at that time, still in my teens. I was dating
a girl and we agreed to a blowjob before moving onto actual
sex. She was giving me a nice head and I was enjoying thoroughly
as this was the first time I was receiving . She, at the
same time was chewing a gum. When she took out my dick from
her mouth there was this white substance on its head. She
was feeling apologetic that she had ...
4 Comentários, 110 Visualizações,
52 Votos
,3.35 Pontuação
|
|
How many dick pics should i post 14/3/2018
What is the ratio regular pics to dic picks that I should
have ... like 3 regular pics to 1 dic pic or 3 dic pics to one
regular pic <br><br>
Also should I use my own dic ? Or a random dic on the internet
? Or a celebrity dic ? <br><br>
Just trying to get it right !
6 Comentários, 65 Visualizações,
37 Votos
,3.66 Pontuação
|
|
funny 13/3/2018
According to new research, humor and laughter may be the
most effective way for men and women to initiate and develop
a relationship. Jeffrey Hall, an associate professor at the University
of Kansas, found that when two strangers meet, the more
times a man tries to be funny and the more a woman laughs at
those attempts, the more likely it is for the woman to be
interested in dating. Chances of ...
2 Comentários, 14 Visualizações,
11 Votos
,2.42 Pontuação
|
|
My friend's antics with crab potion 3/2/2018
This is an old tale but still makes me laugh when I'm
reminded of it. <br><br>
We were in our 20's and enjoying life as young lads do,
including one drunken weekend of partying which included
sharing a girl who kindly thanked us with a dose of crabs.
<br><br>
Apparently, he knew his previous landlady had a bottle
of the cure and I drove him over to collect it. ...
4 Comentários, 102 Visualizações,
49 Votos
,4.11 Pontuação
|
|
Does humor has priority for you in a relationship ? 17/11/2017
Does humor has priority for you in a relationship ?
5 Comentários, 52 Visualizações,
36 Votos
,5.31 Pontuação
|
|
Whipped 14/11/2017
Ladies if its you husband or boyfriends or nsa friends birthday
would you ever put whipped cream on your pussy and tits as
a gift for that man in your life and let he lick it all away?
11 Comentários, 86 Visualizações,
43 Votos
,6.41 Pontuação
|
|
Whipped 14/11/2017
Ladies if its you husband or boyfriends or nsa friends birthday
would you ever put whipped cream on your pussy and tits as
a gift for that man in your life and let he lick it all away?
3 Comentários, 31 Visualizações,
15 Votos
,2.82 Pontuação
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Me enamora ... 26/10/2017
Me enamora la gente que dice lo que piensa y que realmente
piensa lo que dice <br><br>
. Que no es fácil. La que defiende sus ideas y sus emociones,
porque suyas y sinceras. <br><br>
Pero sin imponerlas a los demás, sin juzgar a quien piensa
diferente <br><br>
y sin compararse con quien no las comparte.
3 Comentários, 21 Visualizações,
18 Votos
,2.99 Pontuação
|
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AWKWARD SITUATION 19/9/2017
I was with my chick at a bar when we met up with her ex husband's
friend with his chick. I said hello to him and he said, 'Hey,
ya gotta big dick?" I laughed at first and sat down.
<br><br>
He was one of those egotistical dudes that think there on
top of the world because he has tattoos, motorcycle, and
a good paying job. He looked like Ray Liotta from ...
4 Comentários, 117 Visualizações,
26 Votos
,3.67 Pontuação
|
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Go Figure! 14/9/2017
I had a crush on my friends sister but it seemed like every
time she was dating someone then I was not and when I was she
was not. I really wanted to be with her but over time she got
married to a total jerk. She was married before to a jerk
so I guess she is attracted to jerks. Maybe that is why we
never dated - just saying lol.
7 Comentários, 42 Visualizações,
19 Votos
,4.44 Pontuação
|
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you have to be funny 13/9/2017
i think that all relationships have to have a good sense
of humor it lightens the mood sometimes when tensions are
high
3 Comentários, 37 Visualizações,
17 Votos
,3.97 Pontuação
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Wolf of Pig 20/8/2017
[image1] 《The Three Little Pigs》 Once upon a time there were three little pigs. When they grew up, they left their parents to live their first
winter by themselves. Autumn came and it began raining. The three
little pigs started to feel they needed a real house to live in. They
talked about how to build a house and prepare for the coming
winter, but each decided ...
2 Comentários, 73 Visualizações,
20 Votos
,4.02 Pontuação
|
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caught 9/7/2017
getting caught by your gf while wanking is total fun lol
1 Comentários, 26 Visualizações,
18 Votos
,3.94 Pontuação
|
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Chicas no se puede vivir sin ellas 8/6/2017
Cuando uno ve esto hay muchas cosas que hacen sentido, al
menos para los hombres... XD XD XD
8 Comentários, 38 Visualizações,
13 Votos
,4.99 Pontuação
|
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When a girl says ... 27/5/2017
When a Woman says, "OK, have fun."
Do not have fun. Abort the mission. I repeat. Abort the mission.
1 Comentários, 49 Visualizações,
20 Votos
,4.40 Pontuação
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Porn Is a Crucial Part of My Relationship 20/5/2017
I love porn. I'm not embarrassed to say it. I'm
not picky about where I watch it. Sometimes I watch it in
bed while my boyfriend's at home. Other times I watch
it on our couch when I need a break from my three jobs and he
is still at work. And my taste runs the gamut, though I tend
to veer towards watching public sex and threesomes.
Oh, and maybe you caught this: I have a boyfriend. ...
1 Comentários, 69 Visualizações,
17 Votos
,4.12 Pontuação
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People who do not understand other people 30/4/2017
So I work with this guy who decided the best way for him to
find the girl of his dreams is to try to meet someone, from
another country, online. He had a picture of this girl he
was talking to and was so happy... Only problem was when
he showed me it was a picture of a pornstar. Aside from this
she also claimed to be in South Africa, yeah that country
known for being terrible, and needed money ...
3 Comentários, 58 Visualizações,
17 Votos
,2.84 Pontuação
|
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Voila pourquoi Des celibataires pleins de ressources existe.... 27/4/2017
Le juge demande :
- Dites-moi, madame Martin, pourquoi demandez-vous le
divorce ?
- Mon mari me traite comme un chien, monsieur le juge !
- Ah ? Il vous maltraite ? Il vous empêche de sortir ?
- Non. Il voudrait que je sois fidèle!
3 Comentários, 18 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,4.90 Pontuação
|
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Love Line 2/4/2017
Love line with Adam needs to come back so bad...guys you
need to listen.
8 Comentários, 74 Visualizações,
42 Votos
,2.62 Pontuação
|
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Married or Single 25/3/2017
I was wondering what type of situation most women prefer
here. When one is involved, do you prefer to find someone
else who is also in a relationship or is preferable to find
a single man. What do the single women here prefer. I like
a drama free situation with someone fun and outgoing, but
I am single and keep my options open.
5 Comentários, 57 Visualizações,
22 Votos
,4.57 Pontuação
|
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Doing the laundry 14/3/2017
When our were little (2&4) we would say "doing
the laundry" as another phrase for having sex.
One day we were having a small dispute which left me upset.
I went & set down on the couch as my 4 yr old came up to me
to ask what was wrong. I did not want her to know we were fighting
so I told her that daddy & I were talking about doing
the laundry, however our washing machine had quit ...
1 Comentários, 824 Visualizações,
66 Votos
,7.19 Pontuação
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oldie but goodie 15/2/2017
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over
a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger.
A few seconds later, a Genie popped out of the lamp, An angry
Genie, because the man had kicked his lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked
me, I shall still give you three wishes as your reward for
releasing me. However, because of what you did, I ...
4 Comentários, 106 Visualizações,
19 Votos
,3.65 Pontuação
|
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Opps have you been recognized by, friends, coworkers, family? 2/2/2017
So has it happened to you any thing bad come of it? Anything good come of it?
Or just embarrassed....
I was recognized in my blk dress this week! opps family...,
mmmmm coworker!
20 Comentários, 299 Visualizações,
59 Votos
,6.06 Pontuação
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心血來潮~來個大野狼裝~增加情趣~YA.......但是卻是悲劇的結局 28/12/2016
我在上班的時候跟前女朋友講電話，但我們講電話過程中起了爭執，後來為了讓我們感覺別因為爭執而壞了感情，於是我去買了一套大野狼裝，想說回去帶點情趣回去跟她泥補一下感情，當然我一到家洗完澡立馬換上我為她準備的大野狼裝，從廁所出來後.....
...
1 Comentários, 17 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,2.49 Pontuação
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Haaaaachu....!!!! 17/11/2016
A woman constantly keeps sneezing and goes to see the doctor.
She tells him, "Doctor, I constantly keep sneezing,
and every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The doctor
asks, "What are you doing for it?" The woman
replies, "Sniffing pepper."
5 Comentários, 90 Visualizações,
28 Votos
,4.78 Pontuação
|
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who can you trust 8/11/2016
Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped
some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table
to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy,
was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit
his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments
Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything
under ...
6 Comentários, 276 Visualizações,
26 Votos
,5.94 Pontuação
|
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Drunk 30/9/2016
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle,
shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town! Great
Pussy!"
Everyone expects a fight, but the younger dude ignores
him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the old drunk comes back, points at the
same guy, and ...
3 Comentários, 131 Visualizações,
11 Votos
,4.10 Pontuação
|
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Weekend sex 30/9/2016
Would love to have sex- i said.
She gave me a glove...
Xxx
6 Comentários, 57 Visualizações,
10 Votos
,3.78 Pontuação
|
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false advertisment 21/9/2016
so awhile back i met a lady on Des celibataires pleins de ressources and what caught my attention
was that she said she loved to work out, but more importantly
(at least for me lol) she loved giving head. so after a few
weeks of getting to know each other, we were chatting one
friday night. she had a date that was running late or maybe
just blowing her off. i was home bored and jokely said if
you need some replacement dick, i'm ...
3 Comentários, 228 Visualizações,
21 Votos
,4.12 Pontuação
|
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Human Relationships 20/9/2016
Ultimately, the only way to make good friends is to become
a good friend yourself. Good people gather around other
good people.
2 Comentários, 15 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,3.43 Pontuação
|
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I am ready 8/9/2016
Was told that the other night- was excited. But the only
thing i was ready for- was to sleep... Age...
6 Comentários, 45 Visualizações,
15 Votos
,3.28 Pontuação
|
|
.zdfgjkldfklhb 4/9/2016
respect is the most important value in the relationship
1 Comentários, 15 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,3.08 Pontuação
|
|
我的人生 我的選擇 25/8/2016
已經如此有成就的人，面對有限生命仍這麼努力活著，
幸運能夠揮霍人生的我們，是否該學到些什麼呢？
有時候已經不是努力或不努力的問題
真的就是差了一點運氣和機運
大膽奴才！朕的舌頭你也敢玩
【 思 悟 】
且惜好時光
珍重各自安
...
1 Comentários, 6 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,2.86 Pontuação
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Tires made of pussy 21/8/2016
We were having a discussion at the bar one afternoon. This
girl said, "If tires were made of pussy they would
never wear out!". I told her that it wouldn't
work. The whole world would then smell like fish!!
3 Comentários, 56 Visualizações,
16 Votos
,3.27 Pontuação
|
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Why do people always say things that arent? 2/8/2016
Why do girls always say they dont want anything serious,
then all of a sudden they want something serious? Why not just be straight up?
4 Comentários, 37 Visualizações,
11 Votos
,4.10 Pontuação
|
|
ERUPTION !!! 21/7/2016
BUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAA
1 Comentários, 38 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,2.53 Pontuação
|
|
CAMPANA SOBRE CAMPANA !!! 21/7/2016
ESTAS SI QUE CAMPANADAS !!!
7 Comentários, 62 Visualizações,
20 Votos
,4.91 Pontuação
|
|
paying for services 21/7/2016
When is cheating on your partener, if you go get a massage
with a happy ending is that cheating, if you pay for a service
is that cheating, women are offering all kinds of services
to men.
It does not mean you don't love your girl or wife!!
2 Comentários, 32 Visualizações,
13 Votos
,1.80 Pontuação
|
|
brincadeiras 16/6/2016
estamos no dia de fúria por todos os lados, nada melhor
que ter uma companheira , parceira, aceite como vc e sem
cobranças para não atrapalhar a harmonia.brincar amar
pode ate brigar mais nada que uma boa namora para colocar
o trem no trilho.
2 Comentários, 6 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,2.40 Pontuação
|
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Switching mis Modelos 28/4/2016
En la pagina de Des celibataires pleins de ressources aparecen notificaciones
de las modelos que continuamente se están presentando,
ya sea para chat o hasta para buscar una experiencia virtual
erótica mediante el Buz. Esta nueva experiencia en materia
de las modelos Chateando me pareció una novedad y un Plus
para la pagina, a cada momento chicas de todas partes del
planeta están transmitiendo sus diferentes ...
2 Comentários, 13 Visualizações,
10 Votos
,1.99 Pontuação
|
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Blagounette 24/4/2016
C'est un couple de paysans qui participe a la remise
des prix d'un concours de taureaux. Le présentateur annonce : Troisième prix, le taureau Gédéon, trois ans, trois
saillies par jour ! La femme, tapant du coude mari : T'entends ? trois fois par jour !! Tu devrais en prendre
de la graine ! Le présentateur continue : - Deuxième prix, le taureau Gérard, cinq ans, six saillies
par jour ...
1 Comentários, 11 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,4.90 Pontuação
|
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The Fickle Times We Live In..... 15/4/2016
"Nevermind what's being said to you! Then maybe
you could learn to fuck better!"
That's what I said to her as I came in her mouth after,
a less than par blowjob.....
"Didn't you learn anything from those porn flicks
that you keep in your closet?!!"
I had asked her that before, and she hates it every time.
She then says to me, that, she thought I loved her, and she ...
1 Comentários, 96 Visualizações,
13 Votos
,0.46 Pontuação
|
|
bom humor 14/3/2016
O bom humor em um relacionamento é essencial. Por que?
Por que quando há uma desavença uma das duas partes tem
que ceder; de uma forma ou de outra. Por isto; sempre quem
cede é o lado mais bem humorado em uma relação. Na maioria
das vezes um relacionamento é constituído de uma pessoa
mais séria e reservada e outra mais acessível e bem humorada.
Mas não se preocupe; isto tudo faz parte ...
0 Comentários, 6 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,3.12 Pontuação
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Lessor of two evils 11/3/2016
"So let me get this straight, " the prosecutor
says to the defendant, "you came home from work early
and found your wife in bed with a strange man." "That's correct, " says the defendant.
"At which time, " continues the prosecutor,
"you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing
her." "That's correct, " says the defendant.
"Then my question to you is, why did you shoot your
wife and the man ...
0 Comentários, 229 Visualizações,
24 Votos
,4.95 Pontuação
|
|
Make her scream... 11/3/2016
Hey guys... I figured out how you can make your girlfriend or wife or
whatever scream during sex.. It's super easy and it works every time... All ya gotta do.. While you are having sex take your phone... and call your girl and tell her about it...
5 Comentários, 112 Visualizações,
17 Votos
,4.68 Pontuação
|
|
Look how sexy my wife is... 6/2/2016
...That is all.
-Sexxxcrzd(m)
14 Comentários, 174 Visualizações,
26 Votos
,5.61 Pontuação
|
|
the vagina!!! 31/1/2016
The best engine in the world is the Vagina. It can be started
with one finger, It is self lubricating, It takes any size
piston, And it changes it's own oil every four weeks.
It is only a pity that the management system is so fucking
temperamental.....
4 Comentários, 120 Visualizações,
41 Votos
,7.16 Pontuação
|
|
its funny now not s much then 6/12/2015
nikki an myself was in bed and she says she has to pee.okay
I thought get up and go like any sane person would do.well
she for some reason got the idea to act like she was a and
omg she pissed on me!!and I don't mean just a lil I mean
straight full blast peed lol then says she was marking what
belongs to her lol I couldn't be mad after that bc it
was so funny and sweet at the same time yet she ...
4 Comentários, 98 Visualizações,
21 Votos
,2.14 Pontuação
|
|
女人最愛搜的前十名色情關鍵字竟然是 6/11/2015
女人最愛搜的前十名色情關鍵字竟然是？
...
3 Comentários, 21 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,3.92 Pontuação
|
|
wife joke 30/10/2015
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband
is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but
warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her
to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night,
she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the
doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great!
I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't ...
14 Comentários, 453 Visualizações,
41 Votos
,6.76 Pontuação
|
|
BBQ time 30/10/2015
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt
is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!"
Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances
towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's
wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really
think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one
little weenie?"
5 Comentários, 225 Visualizações,
22 Votos
,5.77 Pontuação
|
|
Always use condoms? 29/10/2015
Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the
same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last
full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low,
as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] &
little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel
is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't
use condoms. Mostly, I get ...
1 Comentários, 88 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,1.86 Pontuação
|
|
Always use condoms? 29/10/2015
Many will say YES! Let me state my case: 1st I was with the
same partner for over 20 yr.s before she passed away. Last
full physical showed No STDs & a sperm count so low,
as to not exist. 2nd I have a reaction to latex [Rash] &
little or no sensation. So, I ask if she can prove she is disease free - which I feel
is being honest- and that for reasons stated I don't
use condoms. Mostly, I get ...
3 Comentários, 46 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,4.12 Pontuação
|
|
c'est du sport 8/10/2015
Trois amis discutent. L'un dit : - Moi j'ai 10 garçons ! L'autre dit : - Hey, si t'en fais un onzième tu auras une équipe
de foot... Le deuxième enchaîne : - Moi j'ai 14 garçons ! L'autre rétorque : - Mais si tu en faisais un 15ème tu aurais une équipe de
rugby ! Et le troisième dit: - Moi j'ai 17 filles ! L'autre enchaîne : - Si tu en faisais une 18ème tu pourrais faire un golf.
2 Comentários, 15 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,3.55 Pontuação
|
|
ANOTHER POEM FOR THE MAG -= SAD, FUNNY & LAME 22/8/2015
LAMO
We met in a chat room General conversation Things get hot & heavy She is coming over for sex. ‘Can’t see you till after work Be there by 8 AM my dear.’
She had sent a photo From the neck to her waist To whet my appetite I guess She was lovely, bare big breasted.
Troubled sleep – toss & turn Big Yoda is throbbing My mind is in a whirl Putting a face & name ...
2 Comentários, 76 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,3.25 Pontuação
|
|
Karma 20/8/2015
Two former female neighbors met in the Afterlife, after
both suffering untimely deaths. Being surprised to see each other, they asked how they me
their fates. One woman said she froze to death. "Oh, my goodness!" the other replied, "that's
terrible" "Well; not SO bad" the other replied, "After
a while the cold went away, and I drifted off into a warm sleep"
The second woman said she died of a ...
3 Comentários, 236 Visualizações,
26 Votos
,5.40 Pontuação
|
|
The Successful 3/8/2015
Four men went golfing one day. Three of them went to the 1st tee while the other went to to
the club house to pay the bill. The three men started bragging
on their sons. The first man said "My is a successful home builder.
He's so successful that he gave a friend a new home for
free. The second man said "My is such a good car salesman
that he know owns a multi-line dealership. And because ...
4 Comentários, 229 Visualizações,
17 Votos
,5.67 Pontuação
|
|
約砲方法 一 18/7/2015
這是我自己的經驗啦
小弟是個想像力極度豐富的人
可以從海洋聯到路上接著到天上 外太空
我是用暗示的
就是聊天中開始畫虎爛
有事沒事加點性暗示
如果對方也想要
會一起跟你進來你想像出來的情境裡
舉例好了
突然聊到體操
...
1 Comentários, 37 Visualizações,
12 Votos
,4.39 Pontuação
|
|
請問各位男/女生妳們都喜歡什麼類型的異性阿 17/7/2015
各位大大妳們好~我很想知道各位喜歡的異性著眼在甚麼地方跟類型~順便看看異性跟同性的人都喜歡甚麼樣子的~因為我感覺我有點怪怪的~我竟然喜歡肉感型的女孩子.....因為抱起來很舒服說.......但是也不能太誇張......不知道有沒有人跟偶一樣呢?
2 Comentários, 10 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,2.45 Pontuação
|
|
Listen up 15/7/2015
I was talking to my ex one day after sex and asked who is the
best lover you ever had ? I was feeling pretty sure she was
going to say me after the fancy fuck I just gave her but no
. Yap yap yap she went on and on . I kind of stoped listening
until I heard . And in the shower Rose said you might as well
wash my back and ass a deal is a deal . What ? What deal ? I asked
. Rose my second roommate ...
2 Comentários, 304 Visualizações,
15 Votos
,2.52 Pontuação
|
|
Jan Stenmark 11/7/2015
Såg inget när jag gick in här bland "Humor om Förhållanden"
så tänkte att jag slänger upp lite dålig humor av Jan
Stenmark!
1 Comentários, 8 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,2.94 Pontuação
|
|
gossipers!!! 15/6/2015
Mildred, the church gossiper and self-appointed monitor
of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into
other people's business. Several members did not
approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared
her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused a new member,
Henry, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup
parked in front of ...
3 Comentários, 244 Visualizações,
39 Votos
,6.82 Pontuação
|
|
Vida contemplativa 29/5/2015
—Me dedico a la vida contemplativa —dijo el filósofo
a sus discípulos, cuando la mesera, en minifalda, se inclinó
para dejar unas cervezas en la mesa contigua.
1 Comentários, 18 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,1.66 Pontuação
|
|
Having sex with The King! Thank you.. Thank you very much... 15/4/2015
I have always found ways to make a girl bust up laughing;
while we have sex.. Creative singing is one them.. I have a knack for turning something innocent; into something
naughty..... For instance.. I heard an Elvis song while driving to a date.
Latter when we were ready for a romp, I sang my dirty version.
It went like this: Are you lonesome tonight?... ...
2 Comentários, 94 Visualizações,
11 Votos
,4.66 Pontuação
|
|
For Fun 15/3/2015
A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will
make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by
the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought
for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for
$2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even
have enough time to undressed himself." So she ...
3 Comentários, 244 Visualizações,
20 Votos
,4.53 Pontuação
|
|
Visita al dentista.... 11/3/2015
Llega una señora a la consulta del dentista; se sube la
falda, se baja, las bragas y abre las piernas. El doctor sorprendido le dice: - "Señora…bueno…yo
soy dentista, no ginecólogo." Y la señora le contesta: - "¡No te hagas el tonto;
tu le colocaste la dentadura postiza a mi marido.... y ahora
me la sacas!."
9 Comentários, 52 Visualizações,
19 Votos
,5.23 Pontuação
|
|
Aniversario 9/3/2015
Un hombre le dice a su mujer -"Como mañana es nuestro
aniversario voy a matar un cordero para comer y así celebrarlo!.....
La mujer le responde, -"¿ Y porqué no matas a tú primo
que fue quién nos presentó? ¿Que te ha hecho el pobre cordero?...."
3 Comentários, 21 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,4.49 Pontuação
|
|
Quando o tamanho não satisfaz 20/2/2015
Como tudo tem o 8 e o 80, existem também os paus minúsculos:
finos e pequenos, não tem jeito, coitados… O problema do pau pequeno é que, diferentemente do pau
médio, grande ou gigante, que ficam mais visíveis na
calça quando excitados, o pequeno pode enganar muitas
mulheres. Você pode achar que, porque não há volume,
ele ainda não está em ponto de bala. E daí dá uma chance
ao ...
2 Comentários, 28 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,4.07 Pontuação
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Solocitid de aumento de salario del Pene 15/2/2015
YO, EL PENE, PIDO AUMENTO DE SALARIO POR LAS SIGUIENTES.-
RAZONES: - Ejecuto Trabajo físico - Trabajo a grandes
profundidades - Trabajo de cabeza - No gozo de descanso
semanal, ni días de fiesta - Trabajo en un local extremadamente
húmedo - No me pagan horas extras ni nocturnidad - Trabajo
en un local oscuro y sin ventilación - Trabajo a altas temperaturas
- Trabajo expuesto a enfermedades ...
5 Comentários, 37 Visualizações,
14 Votos
,5.06 Pontuação
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內褲与手套 12/1/2015
絞盡腦汁想送個適合的禮物， 左思右想後他覺得送一雙手套應該是個很好的選擇，
因為最近常有寒流，而且女友蠻怕冷的，
送手套可以顯出自己的體貼， 再附上一封言情並茂的卡片，一定可以打動女友的心扉。
...
2 Comentários, 15 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,2.86 Pontuação
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Se traspasa? 1/1/2015
Dos amigos se encuentran en la calle y dice uno :-¿Qué
te ha pasado Francisco? Dice el otro:- Pues que iba con la moto muy rápido y, ¿te
acuerdas del edificio, ese que ponía "se traspasa"?....
-Sí - Pues que no es verdad. ¡No se puede traspasar!
2 Comentários, 23 Visualizações,
10 Votos
,4.78 Pontuação
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Romantic 2/12/2014
"I could stay awake just to hear you breathing...Watch
you smile while you're sleeping..." Aerosmith = Romantic Me = Restraining Order
2 Comentários, 44 Visualizações,
10 Votos
,2.59 Pontuação
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Dead Roses! 21/11/2014
On my fifth wedding anniversary i decided to get my wife
a dozen red roses, they looked a little wilted and thought
that they just needed some water and some miracle grow for
flowers. I bought the roses thinking that i could bring
them back to life somehow. When i got home if put them in vase
with some water and miracle grow. An hour had passed and
they looked a little bit better but still looked ...
2 Comentários, 91 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,2.49 Pontuação
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A Realization After Sex 13/11/2014
So the encounter began as hot and passionate as ever! She
started unbuttoning my shirt, but had to raise her arms
so I could throw HER shirt off! She must have thought, forget
the buttons, and tried to pull mine over my head too!
We were tearing each other's clothes off like they
were on fire!
She went for my belt, I went for her bra, and after struggling
like I was trying to ...
3 Comentários, 231 Visualizações,
18 Votos
,3.26 Pontuação
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Funny 12/11/2014
Have you ever gotten rug burns from having sex on a carpet?
There's nothing funny about it the next morning.
18 Comentários, 133 Visualizações,
29 Votos
,5.25 Pontuação
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Testimonials 7/11/2014
If you get one do you always allow it to show up on your profile
or do you sometimes hide them?
5 Comentários, 67 Visualizações,
14 Votos
,3.30 Pontuação
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Going 31/10/2014
Funny how the longer you know someone the more you get use
to seeing them going to the bathroom and how little it matters.
11 Comentários, 126 Visualizações,
24 Votos
,6.20 Pontuação
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Humor 21/10/2014
We think it's really funny how many guys want us to watch
them jerk off on cam. Do they really think that's what
people on here want to see? Oh and just an added note for those
of you that think a woman is watching you on all those couple
profiles. It isn't.
9 Comentários, 90 Visualizações,
19 Votos
,4.44 Pontuação
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Funny? 15/10/2014
If you write me and ask to fuck, suck or perform any other
sex act with you before we've had a chance to chat first
then I'll know you're just being funny.
10 Comentários, 108 Visualizações,
25 Votos
,6.56 Pontuação
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las chicas 12/10/2014
esperan las chicas follar en la primera cita o como?
1 Comentários, 18 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,3.43 Pontuação
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幻想幹著公司的工讀生 6/10/2014
我們公司那個工讀生已經過一陣子了，目前還是學生，長的滿可愛的，皮膚白皙，
說話有點傻傻的感覺，還滿好笑的，因為辦公室在不同樓層，其實滿少有機會和她
說話，人還滿好相處的，真的好想要跟她來一砲喔，地點就在辦公室監視器看不到
的角落，光想都覺得刺激呢
1 Comentários, 22 Visualizações,
0 Votos
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Understanding Women 1/10/2014
A Woman's Vocabulary, Keywords and Meanings (as taken
from an interview with a woman)
FINE This is the word we use at the end of any argument in which
we feel we are right, but need to shut you up. NEVER use 'Fine'
to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have
one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your ...
3 Comentários, 56 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,4.07 Pontuação
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Understanding Men 1/10/2014
"IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making
it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH, " "SURE, HONEY, " OR "YES,
DEAR" Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned
response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I ...
2 Comentários, 42 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,3.80 Pontuação
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When Alice Went Deer Hunting 1/10/2014
It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up
ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down
to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise
he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed
in camouflage.
Jake asks her: "What are you up to?"
Alice smiles: "I'm going hunting with you!"
Jake, though he had many reservations about ...
2 Comentários, 200 Visualizações,
13 Votos
,4.82 Pontuação
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Hard Liquor... 20/9/2014
Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing
the boyfriends they’ve had in the last year. One girl
says "The last 3 boyfriends I’ve had, I’ve named
after soda pops. The first one i called 7up, because he had
7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. The second one i called
mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what
to do. The third i called Jack Daniels." ...
8 Comentários, 279 Visualizações,
25 Votos
,6.67 Pontuação
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Three kinds of each... 6/9/2014
A family is at the dinner table. The asks the father,
"Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The
father, surprised, answers, "Well, , a woman
goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like
melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like
pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like
onions." "Onions?" the asks. "Yes.
You see them and they make you cry." This ...
3 Comentários, 157 Visualizações,
20 Votos
,4.91 Pontuação
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Lesbian joke #69 4/9/2014
What do you call a can of tuna on a lesbian's coffee table?
Potpourri
2 Comentários, 88 Visualizações,
19 Votos
,3.26 Pontuação
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導火線 27/8/2014
阿明脫掉衣服給女友看他腹部的六塊肌！
並驕傲的說：這相當於五十公斤的炸藥！
然後又轉身展現他的二頭肌！ 又驕傲的說：這相當於一百公斤的炸藥！
接著脫掉內褲................................
....................................... ............................... 只見女友奪門狂奔...........! ...
1 Comentários, 15 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,2.45 Pontuação
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吃魚經驗 25/8/2014
第一節課-拉丁之舞
老師說，你先坐在這邊，我先示範一下......
音樂放下去，老師一面搖一邊勾著我的脖子
時而正面時而反面，有時跨坐到我的腿上，並不經意的用胸部摩擦著我的胸膛
伴隨著音樂及肢體動作，身上的衣物一件件的滑落，股間不聽話的人蔘一吋吋的增大 ...
1 Comentários, 19 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,3.92 Pontuação
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Un Buen Polvo Antes Del Examen 19/8/2014
Mi novio Jake y yo habíamos tenido nuestra primera noche
de sexo hace 4 meses, pero después de aquella se sucedieron
muchas más. Una de ellas fue en una tarde.
Yo estaba estudiando para la universidad y el estaba hablando
con sus amigos sobre películas con el ordenador. Yo tenía
examen dos días después, y estudiaba tan locamente que
apenas note que Jake había dejado el ordenador ...
12 Comentários, 97 Visualizações,
23 Votos
,5.93 Pontuação
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Todo depende de quien lo cuente..... 22/7/2014
¡Mujeres!... ¡hombres!... es todo cuestión de percepciones
. Dos mujeres conversando: - ¿Cómo fue tu día? - Una catástrofe!
mi marido llegó a casa del trabajo, cenó en tres minutos,
después tuvimos relaciones sexuales en cuatro minutos
y a los dos minutos, ya estaba dormido! Y tu día, ¿cómo fue? - Ha sido fantástico! Mi marido
llegó a casa, me llevó a cenar, después a caminar ...
7 Comentários, 67 Visualizações,
13 Votos
,4.82 Pontuação
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bar joke 19/7/2014
A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give
me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of
a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest is gay."
The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for
six double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says,
"I just found out that my youngest is gay, too!"
On ...
7 Comentários, 342 Visualizações,
24 Votos
,6.65 Pontuação
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Por no saber nadar.... 15/7/2014
Un pescador que tiene una barca, ve a su amigo pepe y le dice:
- Oye Pepe, ¿sabes que me paso ayer?. Me vino una rubia diciendo
que si le daba una vuelta en barca y yo le dije que sí. La lleve
a detras de la isla, paré y le dije que si no echabamos un
polvete volvia nadando, ¿y sabes lo mejor?, no sabia nadar!!
Al dia siguiente lo mismo, una peliroja: ¿me das una vueltita?
si si, ...
4 Comentários, 58 Visualizações,
12 Votos
,3.68 Pontuação
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Viagra 14/7/2014
El dentista le explica al hombre que debía extraerle la
muela para lo que lo iba a anestesiar, comienza a preparar
la jeringa cuando el hombre lo interrumpe:
- Nada de agujas, yo tengo pánico a las agujas...
- Bueno, dice el dentista, vamos a anestesiar con un poco
de gas...
- No doctor...no soporto tener la máscara de gas en la cara...
El dentista trae una ...
2 Comentários, 39 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,3.30 Pontuação
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Mi novia es mas tonta que la tuya.... 13/7/2014
Están tres amigos viendo un partido de fútbol. Cuando
llega el descanso empiezan a hablar de sus cosas...
> Hombre 1: 'Jodeerrrr, mi novia es muy tonta...
Me dice el otro día que se va de tiendas y venga a comprar,
venga a comprar, y va y se compra cuatro ruedas!!!! La madre
que la parió..... pero si no tiene cocheeeeee!!!!'
> Hombre 2: 'Uyyyy consuélate, porque ...
2 Comentários, 32 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,4.12 Pontuação
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Joke... 27/6/2014
How do you know you just had a good blow job?
- When she gives you a blow job she sucks the sheets up your
ass.
Now how do you know the woman that just gave you that blow
job is a good girl?
- She pulls the sheets back out for you.
2 Comentários, 88 Visualizações,
25 Votos
,3.91 Pontuação
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馬達抽不到水 9/6/2014
某一天一個房地產仲介員到南部出差，住進一家旅館，閒來無事，叫了一個風塵女郎。
雙方議價八千元成交，經過一陣翻雲覆雨之後，兩人都睡著了。
次日，女郎醒來後 ...
2 Comentários, 29 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,3.81 Pontuação
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有位小姐 9/6/2014
有位小姐第一次和朋友去練習打高爾夫球。
發球時，她很用力的一揮，球被打歪了，竟然向著一群人飛過去，接著就看到一個男人應聲倒地，把兩手夾在大腿的中間，痛得滾下了山坡。 ...
1 Comentários, 23 Visualizações,
0 Votos
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NOCHE DIFERENTE 6/5/2014
UNA NOCHE ME ENCONTRABA EN UN LUGAR MUY POPULAR Y LLAMADO
VULGARMENTE EL MOTEL DE LOS POBRES HACIENDO LA PREVIA PARA
UN POLVITO CON UN AMIGO AVENTAJADO Q SE DEDICABA A CONDUCIR
UN COLECTIVO, CUANDO DE REPENTE ESTABAMOS EN LO MEJOR....
MUY PERO MUY ACALORADOS YO YA SIN NADA DE ROPA Y EL SIN LA POLERA
Y SUS PANTALONES HASTA LAS RODILLAS EN EL ASIENTO TRASERO
DEL COLECTIVO CUANDO POR PETICION MIA ...
4 Comentários, 83 Visualizações,
13 Votos
,3.81 Pontuação
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SIR 30/4/2014
A
1 Comentários, 59 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,1.66 Pontuação
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Fun Facts about the Great Vagina 28/4/2014
Fun Facts about the Great Vagina
7 Comentários, 262 Visualizações,
26 Votos
,7.02 Pontuação
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Interesting facts about the Penis 28/4/2014
Interesting facts about the Penis
6 Comentários, 177 Visualizações,
24 Votos
,7.33 Pontuação
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Getting rid of Ex 4/4/2014
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first
time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks
it up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes
out of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you
hate the most.” The explorer says, “That’s gotta
be my ex-wife. Why?” “I am a cursed genie. I will grant
you three wishes, but whatever you wish ...
3 Comentários, 284 Visualizações,
17 Votos
,5.39 Pontuação
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how are people born? 4/4/2014
A asked his father, "How were people born?"
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then
their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The then went to his mother, asked her the same question
and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved
to become like we are now." The ran back to his
father and said, "You lied to me!" His father
replied, "No, your mom was talking about ...
3 Comentários, 171 Visualizações,
11 Votos
,4.85 Pontuação
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nuestra identificacion 30/3/2014
Todos tenemos un nick, algunos ponen sus nombres, otros
nombres de animales etc.
a que va tu nick en que se traduce para ti a que corresponde, en
que se identifica a ti( xq e visto nick que dejan mucho que
desear, y lo usaría mas para tener pesadillas que para
masturbarme)
5 Comentários, 31 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,3.21 Pontuação
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sera que todos cometemos errores chistosos en la cama 9/3/2014
 alguna ves hiciste algo muy vergonzoso hasta el punto
de matarte de risa en la cama
1 Comentários, 17 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,2.40 Pontuação
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what women would do if they had a penis for a day 4/3/2014
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging
orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public ...
4 Comentários, 87 Visualizações,
11 Votos
,5.04 Pontuação
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WHAT MEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A VAGINA FOR A DAY 4/3/2014
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball
20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE
closing ...
2 Comentários, 63 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,4.82 Pontuação
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25 Secrets Girls Have To Know About Guys 4/3/2014
. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls.
They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply
means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have
you eaten already?" are the first usual ...
1 Comentários, 68 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,2.86 Pontuação
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我帶妳去女生沒穿內衣的地方 3/3/2014
小華:我帶妳去一個女生沒有穿內衣的地方
小明:真的有這個地方喔? 小華:走，我們去幼稚園
2 Comentários, 26 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,2.45 Pontuação
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如果想認識或是一起交流歡迎密我交朋友!! 1/3/2014
內容如題，我喜歡愛愛，但關係只限於那時段，其他時間就像朋友一樣!!我喜歡交朋友，待人和善，想要聊天的也歡迎密我。
0 Comentários, 11 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,2.42 Pontuação
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Trois mecs 14/2/2014
C'est trois hommes qui discutent.
Au bout d'un moment l'un dit : Ma femme , mais elle conne , elle veut s'acheter une
voiture ! Elle a même pas le permis!
Sa c'est rien , je croit que la mienne est encore plus
conne réplique le deuxième , elle veut s'acheter
un avion , elle a même pas le brevet de pilotage.
Arrêter dit le troisième la mienne c'est le pompon
, ...
3 Comentários, 40 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,3.25 Pontuação
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Des femmes et des piscines 14/2/2014
Quelle est la différence entre une femme et une piscine
?
Aucune, elles te coûtent un fric monstre par rapport au
temps que tu passe dedans.
3 Comentários, 25 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,0.92 Pontuação
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If You Use Handcuffs, Always Keep a Spare Key Handy 1/2/2014
I've even got a better idea, make sure you have one key
on a string, around your wrist before you play, and have
a spare on your key ring.
The reason? My two best friends, Ted and Bobbi and I play around quite
a bit. Sometimes I go to their house for MFM threesome, sometimes
they come over to my house to have a mfmf party with Debbie
and me.
And sometimes, Ted and Bobbi just get ...
3 Comentários, 173 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,4.64 Pontuação
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Foodie 27/1/2014
Urban Dictionary defines foodie as: a douchebag who likes
food; though the terms "gastronome" and "epicure"
define the same thing.
I don't remember being an asshole due to my foodism,
I have however perceived others as such when my desire for
certain foods or eateries were denied.
...which I guess does indeed make me a douchebag.
But who could resist the succulent steak ...
1 Comentários, 41 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,2.78 Pontuação
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What Annie didn't tell you.............. 23/1/2014
....was that before she rolled the damn can of Crème of
Mushroom soup perfectly under my right foot was:
1. the fact that we have wood floors and they had just been
polished.
2. I was wearing socks, not shoes at the time of impact.
3. She had just opened the cupboard above me slamming me
in the head with the bottom corner of the oak cabinet
4. That ...
3 Comentários, 101 Visualizações,
10 Votos
,3.19 Pontuação
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Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen Ruin the Meal (er, uh, ruin one's head) 23/1/2014
My husband Danny is an excellent chef. If it can be grilled,
he can grille it like no one's ever grilled meat before.
If it can be broiled, he can broil it to perfection. He can
bake, fry, you name it.
However, sometimes we'll have guests coming over
for a big dinner and he needs help in the kitchen....that's
where I come in...or at least I used to.
He gave me a list of ...
4 Comentários, 156 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,4.06 Pontuação
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SPECIAL YESTERDAY BUT UNWANTED TODAY 30/11/2013
DO U KNOW WHAT HURTS THE MOST.........?
ITS WHEN SOMEONE MADE U FEEL VERY VERY SPECIAL YESTERDAY....................................................................................................................................................BUT....................................................................................MADE
U FEEL THAT U R THE MOST UNWANTED PERSON TODAY.....!! ...
3 Comentários, 58 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,3.47 Pontuação
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最近的辦公室姐姐 11/11/2013
辦公室姊姊幾位都來自台大日文系的,
尤其是一位快30歲的姐姐, 聲音真的很好聽, 人長得也還不錯, 重點是日文超級溜!
如果有生之年可以跟她來一砲 做鬼也甘願啦!!!!
4 Comentários, 42 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,3.80 Pontuação
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冷笑话！ 7/11/2013
妻子在廚房裡忙著準備早餐~
丈夫在她的屁股上拍了一下~
說:「妳要是能把這搞硬，就不用穿提臀褲了。」妻子強忍著，沒搭理他~
第二天，他又在妻子的乳房上抓了一把，說：「妳要是能把這搞硬，就不用戴胸罩了。」~
...
2 Comentários, 36 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,4.06 Pontuação
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搞笑！ 7/11/2013
1. 大象的左耳朵像什麼？ ●右耳朵
2. 把一隻雞和一隻鵝同時放在冰山上，爲什麽雞死了鵝沒死？
●鵝是企鵝
3. 一年四季都盛開的花是什麽花？ ●塑膠花
4. 什麼地方的路最窄？ ●冤家路窄.
5. 什麼時候有人敲門，你絕不會說請進?
●在廁所裡
6. ...
0 Comentários, 14 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,2.40 Pontuação
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真是一家人 7/11/2013
警車追逐一輛超速又橫衝直撞的小客車，終於追到路邊給攔了下來！
警察：「先生，你開那麼快，知道要被罰多少錢嗎？這些錢能用來做多少事，你知道嗎？」
駕駛：「我知道，它夠讓我去補習考駕照了！」
警察：「什麼！你無照駕駛？」
...
0 Comentários, 16 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,5.00 Pontuação
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笑话！ 7/11/2013
今天早晨特冷，姐妹兩個人去提款機領錢，正好遇見運鈔車來加鈔。
無奈之下兩人只好站在一旁苦苦等候，這時姐問我：凍手不？
我冷冷地回一句：凍手！結果四桿槍瞬間指向倆姐妹……
兩個人被抓住送派出所，在路上我們一直沉默， ...
1 Comentários, 16 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,5.00 Pontuação
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Glitter and Sparkles 1/10/2013
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later
in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the
doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled
for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone
off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't
have any ...
3 Comentários, 278 Visualizações,
15 Votos
,5.73 Pontuação
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Glitter and Sparkles 1/10/2013
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later
in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the
doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled
for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone
off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't
have any ...
3 Comentários, 100 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,4.80 Pontuação
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Flakes. 18/9/2013
Tell your funniest flake story!
1 Comentários, 55 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,1.94 Pontuação
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On being discreet... 9/9/2013
I cannot speak for everyone, but in the case of my wife and
I discretion is an absolute non-negotiable must. Her work
is sensitive to anything that may be conveyed as "alternative"
and my work is very publicly oriented where I talk to hundreds
of different people a week. On top of that we're also
involved in the community and have a lot of friends who might
not be ready to understand. So we ...
2 Comentários, 162 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,3.21 Pontuação
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Greener Grass 7/9/2013
Being that my husband was born and raised his whole life
here in this small County He is pretty well known and knows
most other locals that have been born and raised here. Its safe to say that when we meet new people If its through
a mutual friend , they have already been pre warned or pre
schooled that we are freaks. They don't know what to
expect and though they all at one time or another ...
2 Comentários, 284 Visualizações,
15 Votos
,3.28 Pontuação
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Ever Fart by accident while getting blowjob? 11/8/2013
haha
2 Comentários, 64 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,1.37 Pontuação
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Say it isn't so! 26/7/2013
A hysterical woman came into
the ER. She'd just had a fight with her boyfriend while
sitting in his parked car. She said she had gotten so mad
at him that she pulled the key out of the ignition and put
it in her vagina so he couldn't drive home! Now she couldn't
locate the key to get it out. I couldn't find it either,
so we concluded that it must have fallen out ...
4 Comentários, 364 Visualizações,
13 Votos
,2.81 Pontuação
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Maybe you? 26/7/2013
"One night, a gurney rolled
in carrying a woman in black lingerie-who happened to be
straddling a naked man. They told us that they had been doing
a lot of drugs and having wild sex when the woman's vagina
cramped up and the guy couldn't pull out. The doctor
on duty gave her muscle relaxants, and after several minutes,
they were able to separate. Then they were promptly ...
4 Comentários, 323 Visualizações,
10 Votos
,4.58 Pontuação
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funny 6/6/2013
tha ask her dad to use tha car he say wat u goin to
do for me she says idk wat do u want so he says i want a bj she
says thats sick ur my dad he says do u want tha car r not so she
starts suckin then she stops and looks at her dad and says
dad whys ur dick taste like shit so he says that reminds me
ur brothers using tha car
1 Comentários, 198 Visualizações,
9 Votos
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te dopas? 1/6/2013
¿te dopas para funcionar bien en el sexo?, EPO, hormonas,
autotransfusiones, ... jalea real? pastillas azules?
ostras? .. barritas energeticas? bebidas isotónicas...?
1 Comentários, 6 Visualizações,
0 Votos
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¿Os gustaría meterme mano? 27/5/2013
¿Os gustaría meterme mano?
10 Comentários, 80 Visualizações,
17 Votos
,3.55 Pontuação
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I want to know why the sexually frustrated, sexually depraved women go for my Danny 16/3/2013
Are there any other guys out there that get hit on by divorced,
sexually depraved, sexually frustrated women like my
Danny does.
I swear the boy must have the record for banging girls that
are divorced and who haven't had sex with anyone since
they split with their husbands.
Danny can relate story after story to me about how these
women, many of them cougars, seduce him and, ...
5 Comentários, 354 Visualizações,
22 Votos
,3.49 Pontuação
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Quit smoking 15/3/2013
A very smart doctor once told me that the only way for a man
to kill himself slowly over a period of 30-40 years while
spending huge amounts of moneey other than smoking was
to get married,
2 Comentários, 175 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,3.48 Pontuação
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SEXTING 11/2/2013
Text SEX 2win a BABY. 1t per sperm. Offer ends wen some-1
is pregnant. Lucky draw will b held @ d labour ward. promosen
starts wen U make love with some-1 & ends wen U ar satisfied,
hurry now! limited partners. So get started now!
0 Comentários, 142 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,1.94 Pontuação
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Using One Friend to Make Another Girl Jealous, I Instead Made Them Into Lovers 2/2/2013
Sometimes our best ideas become our worst nightmares.....
Sometimes what seems like a good idea one minute comes back
to bite us in the ass the very next second.
By using Diane, my best bi-sexual friend and lover to get
Katie jealous, I instead turned them into lovers.
Katie never really left Earl, she remained married to him
for years, but Katie made love to Diane ...
3 Comentários, 269 Visualizações,
20 Votos
,4.66 Pontuação
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Fun at the Gentleman’s Club 27/10/2012
Fun at the Gentleman’s Club
I have been on Des celibataires pleins de ressources off and on now for several years. I have
met some great ladies and continue to be friends. A short time ago, I contacted a lady on Des celibataires pleins de ressources and she stated
she was a dancer. I chatted with her and finally went to meet
her at her club. It was not one of the fancier ones in the area,
but reminded me of a club I liked in Pennsylvania. As we chatted ...
3 Comentários, 368 Visualizações,
13 Votos
,1.47 Pontuação
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accidental slip 20/10/2012
alright i very much like the doggy position. as a girl is
it a big deal when a guy slips his dick in the asshole instead
of the pussy on accident.
0 Comentários, 19 Visualizações,
1 Votos
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Funny only now, many years later 11/8/2012
I'm in college and pick out this good looking freshman
during orientation.
That night I'm munching away on a her and suddenly get
a string in my mouth.
Yep, you guessed it.
So I stop, grab a quick, long swig from the beer bottle and
ask her if she's on the the rag.
Comes out no boyfriend had ever eating her before and she
didn't realize there was anything ...
5 Comentários, 274 Visualizações,
12 Votos
,3.51 Pontuação
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El leon y el Burro 24/7/2012
Estaban un leon y un Caballo solo en medio de la selva y con
unas ganas enormes de follar y no pasaba ninguna Leona ni
ninguna Yegua, asi que el leon le propone al caballo que
se lo monten entre ellos y el caballo acepta de buen gusto.
El leon le pide ser el primero por ser el rey de la selva y saca
un frasco y se empieza a untar la polla entonces el caballo le pregunta que que hace a lo cual el ...
1 Comentários, 101 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,3.04 Pontuação
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Quejate al hacer el amor 20/7/2012
Carlita le pregunta a sexy flor que hacer para que su marido
tenga mas interes en ella y le recomienda que SE QUEJE cuando
haga el amor, esto enardece a los hombres. La siguiente noche se viste muy sensual y lo lleva a la camara
nupcial y ya que estan en lo mas algido del tema ella habla.
Que caro esta todo verdad , y estas elecciones han sido
un fraude y no se encuentra buena verdura , en fin ...
1 Comentários, 91 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,2.55 Pontuação
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Muy cortos 8/7/2012
¿Como se llama al trozo de carne entre el culo y el coño?
...Fronton, porque es ahi donde rebotan las pelotas
¿Hasta qué número pueden contar las mujeres? ... Hasta el 68 porque en el 69 tienen la boca llena.
¿En qué se parecen las tetas de las mujeres y los dibujos
animados? ... En que están hechos para niños y entretienen a los
mayores.
...
1 Comentários, 45 Visualizações,
11 Votos
,4.66 Pontuação
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Mi novia es más tonta que la tuya.... 5/7/2012
Están tres amigos viendo un partido de fútbol. Cuando
llega el descanso empiezan a hablar de sus cosas...
> Hombre 1: 'Jodeerrrr, mi novia es muy tonta...
Me dice el otro día que se va de tiendas y venga a comprar,
venga a comprar, y va y se compra cuatro ruedas!!!! La madre que la parió..... pero si no tiene cocheeeeee!!!!'
> Hombre 2: 'Uyyyy consuélate, porque creo que
mi ...
4 Comentários, 95 Visualizações,
14 Votos
,5.22 Pontuação
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humor 3/7/2012
so has anyone been farted on during sex. not a sex fart but
an actual fart. it has happened to me numerous times. i almost
burst out in laughter each time. is this normal for girls
to fart during sex
7 Comentários, 130 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,2.45 Pontuação
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Lost condom ?? 12/6/2012
Would some of you like to share your humorous moments with
you lover. I will share on of mine, we had lots of fun and some
good sex, we were using a condom of course. After playtime
we were looking for the condom to put it in the garbage, well
we took apart the bed, looked under the bed, on the floor...could
not find it, so we thought we should look and see what had
turned out on the ...
6 Comentários, 457 Visualizações,
25 Votos
,5.90 Pontuação
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IMPORTANT 30/5/2012
HUMOR IN RELATIONSHIP IS IMPORTANT AND ADVISABLE
3 Comentários, 55 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,2.08 Pontuação
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swinger or swingers 15/3/2012
here is some food for thought if you and your partner are
active swingers , but this time you do your own thing(have
sex with another swinger couple) without your partner.
do they have the right to be upset about it
2 Comentários, 145 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,2.45 Pontuação
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Humor and Attraction : who likes jokers ?? 24/2/2012
Have you heard the one about the relationship scientist
who walks into a bar with a journal under one arm and a duck
under the other? Never mind...it wasn’t very funny to
begin with. If that's the only joke you know, will your
lackluster sense of humor hurt you when it comes to attracting
a romantic partner? It turns out that the use and importance
of humor differs between men and women in ...
0 Comentários, 35 Visualizações,
1 Votos
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First Date Fuck-Ups, episode 2 7/2/2012
I met Jose (not his real name, to protect the guilty), while
I was pumping gas & he was cleaning the canopy over the
gas pumps. He would splash a little water to make me think
it had started sprinkling. He did this twice before I looked
up to see him. He then asked if I would like to go to a movie
Friday. He was very good looking so I answered yes. He told
me where his second job is, what time he ...
5 Comentários, 524 Visualizações,
24 Votos
,4.61 Pontuação
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Un chiste. 5/2/2012
Una mujer gallega le dice a su marido gallego:
Cariño. Dime algo que me deleite.
VACA?
3 Comentários, 66 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,3.85 Pontuação
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Singles 1/2/2012
"If you're going to cheat, you shouldn't
be in a relationship."
Is it just me, or do you hear single people say this a helluva
lot more than those in relationships?
1 Comentários, 86 Visualizações,
2 Votos
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april fool 30/1/2012
you walk into a room and find your lover and your best friend
under the sheets both naked. when they see you, they both
scream april fool. you look at the calender and realise
its april 1st. what would you do.
9 Comentários, 371 Visualizações,
15 Votos
,3.28 Pontuação
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Ed the Chicken ! 4/1/2012
Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his
sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said,
'You died in your sleep, Ed.'
Ed was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be!
I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only
one way you can go back, and that is as a ...
5 Comentários, 372 Visualizações,
16 Votos
,3.42 Pontuação
|
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MMMM CUANDO AL FIN TE ENCUENTRE ...... 9/12/2011
  Te poseeré..ese día o más tardar el siguiente..te llevarè
a la cama sin pedirte permiso, me acercaré, tocaré todo tù cuerpo y te harè mìo..
Te dejaré con una enorme sensaciòn de cansancio y sentiràs
voluntad de entregarte al màximo.
Lentamente te sentiràs erizado y te haré transpirar profundamente.
TE HARÉ ...
7 Comentários, 100 Visualizações,
18 Votos
,5.17 Pontuação
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E ela correu 18/11/2011
Recentemente, quando eu era mais novo, +- 12 anos de idade,
estava com uma namoradinha e meu irmão, pouco mais velho
estava com sua namorada também, estavamos passando em
frente de minha casa, o que a minha menina que estava comigo
não sabia, minha mãe saiu de dentro da casa, meu irmão
apresentou sua namorada e eu quando fui apresentar a minha...
adivinha... Ela tinha saido correndo e já ...
1 Comentários, 46 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,2.80 Pontuação
|
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speciale fille 16/10/2011
quelle est la difference entre un homme et un pruneau?
aucune
tu les suces la veille au soir et ils commencent déjà à te
faire chier le lendemain matin
1 Comentários, 61 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,2.36 Pontuação
|
|
her,or so she says 9/10/2011
watching wife having her first girl/girl 69 in the back
of our Subaru wagon . Let me set the story:i had hooked up
my buddy with this girl who was staying with shannon and
i.a mutual friend brought her over, asking if she could
stay a few weeks. she was a tall redhead , kinda thick (in
a good way)green eyes big full lips , sexy as hell and was
very open about her bi-sexuality a true ...
7 Comentários, 571 Visualizações,
39 Votos
,4.62 Pontuação
|
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Ceros 6/10/2011
Van dos ceros por la calle y ven a un ocho en la acera de enfrente.
Un cero le dice al otro: - !Mira ese qué chulo: con cinturón!
1 Comentários, 48 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,3.47 Pontuação
|
|
Pitfalls vs Pussies? 23/8/2011
I'm just curious to know what women prefer in bed. I'm
sure if your sitting at home right now with the moggy on your
lap your gonna say pussy right? But if you had put pussy to
bed 5 min ago, and walked into your bedroom, What would you
be expecting to find?
A bottle of wine and chocolate, a whip or other? I understand everyone here states their preferences,
but I'm seeking here ...
2 Comentários, 122 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,1.84 Pontuação
|
|
humor 13/8/2011
we all need to laugh and humor can help us all relax, sexually
it is v important
1 Comentários, 44 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,2.02 Pontuação
|
|
Morte horrivel 3/8/2011
São Pedro editou novas regras para se entrar no ceu;So
poderia entrar quem no dia da morte tivesse passado por
situações horriveis. Mal acaba de publicar as regras chega um jovem e São Pedro
pergunta-lhe de que havia morrido, responde-lhe: De infarto.Cheguei em casa, e encontrei minha mulher
enrrolada em uma toalha e toda nervosa.Descofiado procurei
por todo o apartamento, e sem encontrar ...
3 Comentários, 61 Visualizações,
11 Votos
,3.35 Pontuação
|
|
不要亂問 3/8/2011
女友給男友發短信：“老公你在幹嘛？在做夢嗎？把夢傳給我！在笑嗎？把笑發過來！在哭嗎？短信你的眼淚讓我一起悲傷！”過了一會，男友短信回覆道：“我在大便。”
6 Comentários, 101 Visualizações,
11 Votos
,3.17 Pontuação
|
|
顛覆你心中的童話 29/7/2011
一天，一個女裁縫坐在河邊縫衣裳，一不小心她的頂針掉進河裡, 她傷心得大哭起來。
聽到哭聲，上帝出現了。
上帝問：“我親愛的孩子，你為什麼哭泣啊？”
女裁縫告訴上帝事情說她這枚頂針是她維持許多年重要的物品
...
6 Comentários, 67 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,2.78 Pontuação
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Bra Sizes 27/7/2011
Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the
Letters used to define bra sizes? But couldn't figure
out what the letters stood for. Well its time you became
informed! (A) Almost tits. ( Barely there. (C) Can't Complain! (D) Damn! (DD) Double Damn! (E) Enormous! (F) Fake. (G) Get a Reduction. (H )Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!
10 Comentários, 513 Visualizações,
36 Votos
,4.45 Pontuação
|
|
Noble King Arthur 29/6/2011
King Arthur
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch
of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed
him, but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the
monarch offered him freedom, as long as he could answer
a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure
out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer,
he would be put to ...
3 Comentários, 290 Visualizações,
12 Votos
,6.16 Pontuação
|
|
Like a Tiger 29/6/2011
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready
to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to
the husband, "I have a confession to make, I’m not
a virgin."
The husband replies, "That’s no big thing in this
day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I’ve been with one guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods."
"Tiger ...
1 Comentários, 384 Visualizações,
11 Votos
,3.35 Pontuação
|
|
The Old Farmer 29/6/2011
The old farmer sat rocking on the front porch as he talked
to the stranger. "Been thirty years since I lost my
wife in these woods."
"Oh, I’m sorry, " the stranger said, "It
must have been hard to lose your wife like that."
"Hard?" the farmer snorted, "Was damn
near impossible! She knew those woods like the back of her
hand!"
1 Comentários, 382 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,3.64 Pontuação
|
|
the Big Game Hunter 23/6/2011
The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone
about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good
shot and none could dispute that. But then he said they could
blindfold him and he would recognize any animal’s skin
from it’s feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole
he would even tell them what caliber bullet it was that killed
the animal.
The hunter said ...
1 Comentários, 261 Visualizações,
10 Votos
,3.98 Pontuação
|
|
Piece of Cake 23/6/2011
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making
a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my
room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake
after though!
Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little
Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!"
Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in ...
1 Comentários, 298 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,4.12 Pontuação
|
|
Sex at Seven 23/6/2011
A typical macho man married a typical good-looking redheaded
lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what
time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I
expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you
otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and
card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't
you ...
1 Comentários, 258 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,3.14 Pontuação
|
|
Two Friends 23/6/2011
Two friends, a blonde and a brunette, are walking down the
street and pass a flower shop where the brunette happens
to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying
me flowers again...for no reason."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What’s
the big deal, don’t you like getting flowers?"
The brunette says, "Oh ...
2 Comentários, 316 Visualizações,
10 Votos
,4.78 Pontuação
|
|
"Joys of Parenting " 22/6/2011
A Woman's Experience With
For those who already have past this age, this
is hilarious. For those who have this age, this
is not funny. For those who have nearing this age,
this is a warning. For those who have not yet had ,
this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother.
Things I've learned from my (honest &
no kidding):
1. A king size ...
2 Comentários, 275 Visualizações,
12 Votos
,5.63 Pontuação
|
|
Women 22/6/2011
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought
half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. --Charlotte Whitton
Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like
cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. --Lenny Bruce
I love women. They're the best thing ever created.
If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's
fine. --Mel ...
1 Comentários, 154 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,3.70 Pontuação
|
|
Vacation 22/6/2011
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort. The husband
liked to fish at the crack of dawn; his wife preferred to
read. One morning the husband returned after several hours
of fishing and decided to take a nap.
The wife, to escape her snoring husband, decided to take
the boat out. Since she was not familiar with the lake, she
rowed out to the middle, anchored the boat, and started ...
1 Comentários, 279 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,5.36 Pontuação
|
|
我 16/6/2011
我是一個需求很大的人!!!! 有時候幾乎每天都會自己來
雖然有女朋友但是她無法滿足我的需求
因此我們吵了好多次的架，希望在這裡可以找到能滿足我大大需求的姐姐。
弟弟我最喜歡 女生幫我用嘴幫 那種感覺很棒!!!
1 Comentários, 28 Visualizações,
6 Votos
,2.51 Pontuação
|
|
El cura y la monja 6/6/2011
Cierta vez, un cura y una monja regresaban de una aldea hacia
el convento.
Al caer la noche, vieron una cabaña en medio del camino
y decidieron entrar para pernoctar y proseguir el viaje
al siguiente día.
Al entrar a la cabaña, vieron que había una cama, apenas
de pareja, y varias mantas en un armario.
El padre y la monja entraron y después de algunos segundos
de ...
4 Comentários, 155 Visualizações,
16 Votos
,5.04 Pontuação
|
|
Starting a fight 5/6/2011
A wife and her husband were watching "Who wants to
be a millionaire"while they were in bed.Husband
turns to the wife and said Do you want to have sex?"NO"
she answered.He then turns and ask, Is that your final
answer? THis time without even looking at him simply reply
"YES" So then husband turns and said ok I like
to phone a friend" THen the fight started.
0 Comentários, 418 Visualizações,
17 Votos
,2.42 Pontuação
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Muy agudo... 4/6/2011
Y luego dicen que no hay gente “lista”, sin ser catedráticos.
Un joven estudiante de Derecho, habiendo suspendido el
examen final, interpela a su severo catedrático - célebre
por su aguda mente jurídica - y le pregunta:
- “Profesor, ¿entiende Ud. realmente todo lo referente
a su asignatura?” - ”Creo que sí: de otro modo no sería catedrático ¿no
le parece?” - ...
2 Comentários, 89 Visualizações,
12 Votos
,5.10 Pontuação
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booted out 3/6/2011
A husband and his wife had a very bad argument.He left and
went to the bar. when he home three sheets to the wind. He
saw that all his clothes and tools were lying in the front
yard. When seeing this through blurry eyes he stormed in
the house and confronted wife."Bitch I know your
leaving but you sure in hell are not taking my stuff with
you"
2 Comentários, 371 Visualizações,
12 Votos
,3.68 Pontuação
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El pie y el pene 1/6/2011
El pie mira para arriba y ve que el pené lo estaba mirando,
entonces le pregunta: ¿Como andas?
El pene contesta: Como los ajos, siempre colgado cabeza
abajo, y a ti ¿como te trata?
El pie le responde: “Excelente fíjate que por las mañanas
para que no toque el suelo frío me pone unas sandalias,
se mete a bañar me lava muy bien entre todos mis deditos,
después me seca ...
2 Comentários, 88 Visualizações,
11 Votos
,4.10 Pontuação
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elton john 31/5/2011
Cest quoi la différences enbtre elton
john et un oiseau ? Il n'y en pas les deux mangent des
graines  ...
2 Comentários, 14 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,0.53 Pontuação
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Na mesma moeda. 11/4/2011
De manhã, o marido acorda, vira-se para a mulher, dá
um beliscão na bunda dela e diz: -Se vc fizesse exercícios para firmar a bundinha, poderíamos
nos livrar dessas calcinhas. A mulher procura manter o controle e ficar em silêncio, para
evitar discussão. No dia seguinte, o marido acorda, dá um beliscão nos
seios dela e diz: -Se você conseguisse firmar essas tetinhas, poderíamos nos ...
7 Comentários, 77 Visualizações,
20 Votos
,4.40 Pontuação
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Have you ever farted during sex? 6/4/2011
My first one night stand EVER I accidently let one slip while
she was blowing me. We laughed it off and I felt quite embarassed
until 2 minutes later she let one go as I brought her legs
over her shoulders. Girls do fart!
1 Comentários, 24 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,3.43 Pontuação
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SEEKING FOR THE RIGHT PERSON TO RELOCATE AND START A NEW LIFE WITH 5/4/2011
am looking to meet someone who is honest, sweet, caring, attractive, someone
who is getting tired of the bar scene, someone who is looking
for something that can turn into a long term relationship
and possibly marriage.but 4months ago i met a guy on the
internet promising me that he loves me and his from Africa
and told me to come and visit him and i pay him a visit he take
me to a hotel and ...
0 Comentários, 32 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,2.45 Pontuação
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la differenza tra.... 28/3/2011
qual'è la differenza tra li bocchini e li chiodi ?!?
Beh li bocchini nun se batteno
4 Comentários, 64 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,3.43 Pontuação
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le cinema 28/3/2011
Deux bites vont au cinéma : - J'espère que ce n'est pas un film porno, sinon
on va encore passer la soirée debout.
10 Comentários, 86 Visualizações,
19 Votos
,3.65 Pontuação
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deux prostituées 28/3/2011
Deux prostituées dans un ascenseur : - Dis donc, tu ne trouves pas que ca sent le sperme ici ? - Ouais. Excuses-moi, j'ai rote.
4 Comentários, 79 Visualizações,
11 Votos
,1.86 Pontuação
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un mec et un ours 28/3/2011
Un mec voulait chasser l'ours. Il prend un fusil, mais
il le rate! Alors l'ours le chope et l'encule !
Effaré, le mec recommence, mais cette fois avec une mitrailleuse
! Et il le rate encore !!! De nouveau, l'ours encule
le mec ! Dégoûté, le mec prend carrément un bazooka
et juste avant qu'il tire, l'ours sort de sa caverne
et s'exclame : - Hé! tu ne serais pas zoophile sur les bords ?
5 Comentários, 56 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,3.71 Pontuação
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le gamin et le mec 28/3/2011
Ça se passe tard le soir, dans une rue où il n'y a que
des maisons closes. Un gamin se promène tranquillement,
et voit tout à coup un mec qui sort d'une maison en se
reboutonnant le pantalon. Le gamin ne peut s'empêcher
de chanter : "Ohé ohé, je sais ce que t'as faieuhhhhhh
; ohé ohé, je sais ce que t'as fait !" Et le gosse
suit le mec. Ce dernier marche de plus en plus vite, mais
rien a ...
7 Comentários, 62 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,3.71 Pontuação
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le blanc et le noir 28/3/2011
Cela se passe dans une mission en Afrique. Dans ce village,
peuplé uniquement de noirs, se trouve un et un seul blanc
: le père Joseph. Un jour un des autochtones aborde le père
Joseph pour une plainte. - Écoute mon per'we, j'ai un petit p'obleme.
Ma femme vient d'avoi' un fils, et il est blanc.
Comme tu es le seul blanc dans la 'egion, je viens te
voi' pa'ceque je ne suis pas content. - Ah ...
3 Comentários, 55 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,2.28 Pontuação
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visite medicale 28/3/2011
Un homme passe une visite médicale. Le docteur pose des
questions pour remplir le dossier : - Combien avez-vous d'enfants ? - Treize ! Treize enfants ? Avec la même ? - Oui, avec la même mais pas avec la même femme !
4 Comentários, 42 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,1.51 Pontuação
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le robinet qui fuit 28/3/2011
Un couple : - Chéri le robinet fuit ! change le joint - Pas le temps, et j'suis pas plombier ! Le lendemain : - Tu penses au robinet qui fuit ? - Pas ce soir et j'suis pas plombier ! Le jour suivent : - Tiens, le robinet ne fuit plus ? - Non le voisin est venu le réparer - Ah.. et il t'a demandé quoi pour le service ? - Que je lui fasse un gâteau ou une gâterie. - Ah.. et tu lui as fait quoi ...
2 Comentários, 36 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,3.30 Pontuação
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carte de credit 28/3/2011
C'est trois hommes qui vont dans une boîte de strip-tease.
Une fille vient danser devant eux. Le premier gars sort un billet de 10€ et lui met sur la fesse
droite. Le deuxième gars sort un billet de 20€ et lui colle sur
l'autre fesse. Le dernier prend sa carte de crédit et lui passe entre les
fesses.
2 Comentários, 32 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,2.40 Pontuação
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3 jeunes secretaires 28/3/2011
Trois jeunes secrétaires discutent à la pause des tours
qu'elles ont déjà joué à leur patron. - Moi, dit la première, j'ai découpé toutes les
photos dans Play-boy, il n'a jamais trouvé qui
avait fait le coup... - Ha! Ha! Ha! Moi, dit la deuxième, il y a quinze jours, j'ai
trouvé des préservatifs dans tiroir, et je les ai
tous percés avec une épingle... La troisième, elle, s'est ...
4 Comentários, 49 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,3.30 Pontuação
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la migraine 28/3/2011
Un homme tend un verre d'aspirine à sa femme. - Mais je n'ai pas la migraine ! - Ah, alors on peut faire l'amour !
2 Comentários, 24 Visualizações,
0 Votos
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Infidelity Discovered 14/3/2011
A man was having an affair with another woman and his wife
found out about it, so she told him "If you don't
end it now I'm gonna go downtown to the post office where
you work and tell everyone I see that you're a no good
cheating filthy bum."
The husband replied "You're gonna go downtown
to the post office where I work and tell everyone you see
that I'm a no good cheating filthy bum?" ...
3 Comentários, 443 Visualizações,
19 Votos
,2.46 Pontuação
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The Garden of Eden 14/3/2011
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord,
I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided
this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals,
and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of ...
2 Comentários, 274 Visualizações,
12 Votos
,3.33 Pontuação
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Magic Frog 14/3/2011
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into
the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found
a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release
me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."
The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank
you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to
your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will ...
4 Comentários, 240 Visualizações,
9 Votos
,5.56 Pontuação
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My Wife and I Were Happy For Twenty Years....... 7/3/2011
My wife and I were happy for twenty years...then we met.
. I just got back from a pleasure trip - I drove my wife to the
airport
. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know,
I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes
dear, but I was in love and didn't notice
. One woman says to another, "Isn't your wedding
ring on the wrong finger?" The other woman ...
1 Comentários, 286 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,2.47 Pontuação
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the King 7/3/2011
The king was waving to his loyal subjects from the steps
of the palace when he spotted a beggar in the crowd who looked,
beneath the dirt and rags, amazingly like his royal self.
He had a guard bring the beggar to him and the crowd was likewise
struck by the remarkable resemblance. The king was amused,
for he knew that the king before him had a well-deserved
reputation as a ladies' man, as did he ...
1 Comentários, 172 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,2.40 Pontuação
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Red Flags and warning signs.... 7/3/2011
Red flags and warning sign. Is this you because I look for
these. If your new in town and ask me where the Methadone Clinic
is.........Warning
If the police already know your description....... Warning
If you know the county jail system better than the sheriff.....warning
To date somebody. If you have to get cleared by CPS or a Judge.........Warning
I know we ...
1 Comentários, 48 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,5.00 Pontuação
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Free Tattoo 7/3/2011
A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100
dollar bill on his dick. Well the tattoo artist laughs and
says "I'll do it for free if you can give me one
good reason for it."
The guy thinks for a second and says. "Well one, I like
to keep my money in my pants, two I like to watch my money grow,
and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.
1 Comentários, 202 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,4.17 Pontuação
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Just Try to be Strong 7/3/2011
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds
a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while
tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her
neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's
in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an ...
3 Comentários, 225 Visualizações,
12 Votos
,5.63 Pontuação
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Off to Hawaii 7/3/2011
There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always
dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able
to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea--each
time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy
bank.
They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for
about a year. After that time, they decided that there was
enough money for their ...
1 Comentários, 144 Visualizações,
0 Votos
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'reyan George" captured! 25/2/2011
recently i had the rare learning opportunity to deal with
a professional con artist on Des celibataires pleins de ressources.com.
I received a email from a lady naming herself reyan George
who only had one photo on her account. she quickly started
with a story about how she was looking for love and cherished
love etc. right away i knew something was up because it seemed
like it was a letter that was sent to ...
0 Comentários, 150 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,1.47 Pontuação
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Mrs. Boudreaux 25/2/2011
One night, a torrential rain soaked Southern Louisiana;
the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about
6 feet into most of the homes there.
Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor,
Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodeaux
noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.
Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float
back ...
3 Comentários, 181 Visualizações,
4 Votos
,2.47 Pontuação
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Abstinance 18/2/2011
Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become
members of his church. The minister said that they would
have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and
tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle
aged and the final couple was newlywed.
Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister.
The retired couple said it ...
3 Comentários, 172 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,2.79 Pontuação
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Sexual Desire Enhancement 18/2/2011
Doc, you've gotta help me... my wife just isn't
interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?"
"Look, I can't prescribe..." "Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you
ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate;
my life is going utterly to Hell! You've got to help me." The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle
of ...
3 Comentários, 180 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,2.82 Pontuação
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His and Her Diary 17/2/2011
Her Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made
plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends
all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but
he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested
that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked
him ...
3 Comentários, 179 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,3.55 Pontuação
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reincarnation 16/2/2011
Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife
who was already asleep.
He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of
his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Jason, “and what
are you doing in my bedroom?”. ...
1 Comentários, 151 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,3.14 Pontuação
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the Portrait 14/2/2011
Mrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by
a very famous artist. She told the artist, "Paint
me with 3-carat diamond earrings, a large diamond necklace,
glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful red ruby
pendant." "But ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things."
"I know, " said Mrs. Johnson. "My health
is not good, and my husband is having an affair with his secretary.
When ...
1 Comentários, 122 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,3.14 Pontuação
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the Farmer and His Wife 6/2/2011
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her
grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk
out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her
pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here
we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles, grabs
his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could
get rid of your brother
1 Comentários, 220 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,2.42 Pontuação
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the Bus Ride 27/1/2011
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with
the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered
to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and
said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.
1 Comentários, 140 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,2.49 Pontuação
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the in-laws 25/1/2011
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the
husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep, " the wife replied, "in-laws."
2 Comentários, 172 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,3.81 Pontuação
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expectations 24/1/2011
I've been on this site now on and off for several years.
I've had a lot of fun and I've enjoy meeting some
really wonderful people. I also been witness to some of
the absolutely most unrealistic expectations and narcissus
behavior imaginable. This always makes me smile.
The idea that someone using this site is someway more moral
than someone else is the height of stupidity, not ...
1 Comentários, 58 Visualizações,
3 Votos
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dont do it ! 23/1/2011
A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes
out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly,
opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the
arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her
purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome
with grief and points the gun at her own head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do ...
1 Comentários, 175 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,2.42 Pontuação
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Pizza Pizza 22/1/2011
My wife, on her way home, picked up a $5 pizza for dinner.
As we are eating it she fell on the floor and started having
convulsions. I grabbed and fumbled with the phone as I called
the 911 dispatch. As I knelt and attended to her the paramedic
unit arrived and started checking her out. They told me
not to be worried and that everything would be fine. She
was just having "Little Seizures."
1 Comentários, 171 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,3.70 Pontuação
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the bank hostages 22/1/2011
This guy robs a bank and takes hostages.
He asks one of the hostage, "Did you see me rob the bank?"
The hostage answers, "Yes."
The crook, promptly shoots him.
Then he asks the another hostage the same question, "Did
you see me rob the bank?"
The hostage answers, "No, but my wife over there did."
1 Comentários, 125 Visualizações,
0 Votos
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the sex talk 16/1/2011
In a small town, an elderly couple had been dating each other
for a long time.
At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally
time for marriage.
Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long
conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided ...
1 Comentários, 152 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,2.55 Pontuação
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the beer drinker 16/1/2011
A man walks in the door after a day at the office to find his
wife crying at the kitchen table. Whats wrong? he asks.
I went to the store today, and a horrible man looked up my
skirt. He said, ˜Id like to fill that with beer and drink
it, she sobs. I wish youd been there to kick his ass.
Listen, honey, Ive repeatedly told you to wear panties
every day, replies the husband. ...
1 Comentários, 186 Visualizações,
8 Votos
,3.01 Pontuação
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at dinner 16/1/2011
A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.
Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away)
suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair
and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his
chair and out of sight under the table.
Still, the woman dining ...
1 Comentários, 139 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,3.81 Pontuação
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show me the money 16/1/2011
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do
now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon.
Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded,
"If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't
be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear,
if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be
in Florida, we wouldn't be on a honeymoon, nor would
there be any "we" in the first ...
1 Comentários, 107 Visualizações,
1 Votos
,2.40 Pontuação
|
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first time swallowing 8/1/2011
ill never forget the time i had this hot girl swallow for
me. the look on her face was priceless. so innocent but so
confused LOL.
0 Comentários, 181 Visualizações,
0 Votos
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Tres mujeres... 3/1/2011
Tres mujeres, una con un amante clandestino, la segunda
con novio, y la tercera casada, deciden poner a prueba una
técnica de seducción.
Deciden que las tres, esa misma noche, usarán bodies de
cuero negro, medias negras de liga, tacones aguja de 20
centímetros, y una máscara negra para recibir a sus hombres.
Al día siguiente, se reúnen a comparar experiencias:
La ...
4 Comentários, 160 Visualizações,
14 Votos
,3.94 Pontuação
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Tres hombres 2/1/2011
Estaban tres hombres en el infierno, a los cuales el demonio
impuso tres penitencias:
1º Matar a un león a ostias. 2º Hacer el amor con una mujer 20 veces seguidas. 3º Tomarse 5 litros de orujo.
El que pasara estas tres pruebas se iba al cielo.
Primero entra un alemán con sus aires de grandeza y dice:
A ver, tráiganme a la mujer. Empieza : 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, y sale ...
1 Comentários, 92 Visualizações,
10 Votos
,4.58 Pontuação
|
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Size Doesn't Matter 1/1/2011
A couple had been dating for about a month, but the guy was
afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one evening, he gets up his courage, and takes her
to lovers' lane. While they are making out, he opens
his zipper and places her hand on his penis.
"Stop! How dare you!" the girl says. "You
know I don't smoke."
1 Comentários, 304 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,3.80 Pontuação
|
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marriage proposal 27/12/2010
When asked if there was anything they would have changed
about one of the most romantic moments of their lives, several
women said a 'bigger diamond!'
54% of men still get down on one knee. 44% of men ask their partner's father for permission
to marry. 57% of men cry when she said yes. 65% of women say he could have put more effort and preparation
into the proposal. 25% of couples wait ...
1 Comentários, 128 Visualizações,
7 Votos
,1.51 Pontuação
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New Years Eve Dream 26/12/2010
Janice was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve
before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided
to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me
a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you
think it all means?'
'Aha, you'll know tonight, ' answered Max
smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached
Janice and handed her small ...
1 Comentários, 132 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,3.92 Pontuação
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New Years Eve Party 26/12/2010
Trevor's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence
with numerous guests arriving. During the evening, a man
knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one
knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the
kitchen. He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple
of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. 'You
know, ' he confided to Trevor, 'I wasn't
even ...
2 Comentários, 133 Visualizações,
3 Votos
,3.92 Pontuação
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the Maple Leaf 24/12/2010
After being escorted to the witness box and sworn in, the
little old man was asked by the lawyer to explain what had
happened. He described the events that led up to the incident and finally
got to the main issue of the case, saying, "..and that's
when she hit me with a maple leaf!"
"Surely that couldn't have inflicted any serious
injury on you, sir, " the lawyer said.
"Are you ...
1 Comentários, 116 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,3.12 Pontuação
|
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Who Makes the Coffee 24/12/2010
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should
brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee."
The husband said, "You're in charge of the cooking
around here and you should do it, because that's your
job. I can just wait for my coffee."
The wife replied, "No ...
3 Comentários, 131 Visualizações,
5 Votos
,3.80 Pontuação
|
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Tom and Linda 24/12/2010
Tom was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table,
reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article
about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football
player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common
knowledge.
He turned to his wife Linda, with a look of question on his
face.
"I'll never understand why the biggest shmucks
get the ...
1 Comentários, 111 Visualizações,
2 Votos
,3.12 Pontuação
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